Confused by Christianity.

It seems there are as many varieties of Christianity as there are colours, nationalities and anything else that you can imagine. Mega-church, congregational church, house church, simple church, organic church, evangelical church, post-modern church, denominational, ecclesiastical, baptism encouraged, wine drinking opposed, Sunday morning, Saturday night, Friday night, small group, cell group, cafe church, accountability church, attractional church and so the list goes on!

For someone new to the faith, this mountain of options, theologies, experiences, expectations and doctrinal differences can seem immensely overwhelming and confusing. For someone who has walked with Jesus for almost ten years and been through some of the gamut of churches, it is still somewhat confusing to me, especially when there seems to be so much in-fighting amongst who is right and who is wrong.

For a movement that started out as a group of misfits who followed this guy named Jesus and tried their hardest to serve their neighbours and their God, it seems we have come such a long way and in many circumstances, over-complicated the whole affair.

Love your neighbour, love your God.

I imagine in any religious tradition, if these two very basic principles are maintained, followed and taken seriously, things might possibly look greatly different than what they do at present.

magic

So, in the course of my studies in counselling and psychology, I discovered that when one becomes an adult, the magic that was once so important and prevalent as a child must go. It is written in the DSM of psychiatric disorders that if you have a belief in things of magical substance, then you are lumped into a grouping of psychological disorders. How sad is it that the world of a child must fade away as to leave what is essentially (in the eyes of those who make up these rules) normal.

Hmmmm.

I have not posted in some time. I have deleted facebook in search of what is beyond. In search of what is real. I do not believe anyone reads these posts, and if some do, then I am not concerned.

I am not after fame or celebrity. I am not supposing to be a journalist or even have thoughts that are worth reading. I do however enjoy writing and this seems to be a place where that can be done, and yes, published to some degree.

For now though, that will be all. I might return, I might not. We shall see.

Stuck in a moment.

This is my first post for some months now and I'm feeling a renewed sense of freedom within myself and within my writing. About twenty minutes ago I deactivated my Facebook account, which happened quite spontaneously, but the thought of doing so had been floating around for a while.

In a time when I am in deep thought about life, vocation, faith, relationships and trying to read as much as I can within as diverse framework as possible, I was finding that the facebook phenomenon was tricking my mind and persuading my thoughts in ways which I believe are unhealthy.

My mind, as strong as it can be at times, is also prone to looking at others' lives and wonder why mine isn't the same. The temptation to slide into comparison mode is too easy for me at present.

I am, most of the times, disturbed by the amount of mindless dribble that ends up on the forum and the amount of time I was spending on it, or anticipating a response from something I had posted. An almost narcissistic cloak was draped around me waiting for a large number of "Likes" or "Comments". I can understand why the very new (in terms of history) social media is going to and more than likely is right now, impacting our culture's psychological health.

So I am left wondering, if I distance myself from this media which I have generally held a love/hate view of, what can I do, or rather, what can I do in place of it? And with these questions I believe the fundamental question of why I was on FB in the first place needs to come into play. This question haunts me much like hearing the question, "why did you start smoking in the first place?" Smoking and Facebook, both addictions, I feel work on similar parts of our person. They can make us feel good about ourselves. Knowing now what we know about cigarettes, will our culture in twenty years know the harmful effects of such mediums and start telling us to 'Quit!'?

Well for now, I simply wanted to put my feet back in the water. As I am currently off the world's largest social networking site, I may be less heard and seen and with this I am kind of glad.

This is my page with my thoughts, but as always, I welcome feedback, comments or whatever providing respect is the atmosphere in which these are offered.

Till I find my poncho....

Who are we?

As someone who would identify as "Christian", I am consistently finding myself in the state of questioning, asking myself, who am I and how do I live authentically as a follower of Christ? The days of 'going to church' are more and more a notion of the past, so I am left wondering what is left. The New Testament teaches many things about Christ, who He was/is, what His message was/is and how we as his loyal subjects, friends and lovers fit into the picture.

It takes generations upon generations for a society to be transformed. I would say (as would many others) that as much as individuals can be socially, religiously and politically conditioned to believe certain things, we as a collective body of believers, known also as 'the Church' have been conditioned over the past seventeen hundred years to conform to what man has built, instead of a mystical, spirit filled, Kingdom oriented life.

Conformity in and of itself is not always a 'bad' or negative thing. I believe conformity to noble and pure expressions are not only necessary, but also beautiful reflections of God. But when it comes down to the church, the way we meet, the way we serve and the way we worship, there should always be given the space to ask the vital question of "WHY?" Why do we do the things we do? Why do we believe the things we believe? Do they correlate not only with the teachings of Jesus, but also the person of Jesus?

I have not written in this blog for some time, partly because of apathy, party because of busyness and partly because I've kept my questioning to myself. I am not sure how many, if any, read this blog, but even if no-one out there glimpses here, I am satisfied in the fact that I am able to continue seeking out God's kingdom, even through personal thought, reflection and continual seeking of truth.

Till I find my poncho....

Who writes the rules?

It's entered my consciousness lately that much of our lives are dictated by un-written rules, which in many cases, no-one has any idea of where they came from. The 'shoulds' and 'should nots' of our lives can so easily cloud our vision to what is actual and what is true. And the idea of truth, is in itself a very difficult concept to grasp. What is true for you, may very well be a polar untruth to me. I have been pondering these things for a while and they confuse me. I know that if I have a problem, I could ask twenty people for advise or their angle on the situation, and I will more than likely recieve more than one solid piece of advise. I believe it is important to gain perspective from people around us, especially when during extreme emotional or distressing times, our own judgement can be clouded. But ultimately, there needs to be a choice. Even if all of the advice or recommendations are worthy of attention, there still needs to be an executive decision made to which direction one will take.

For me, I have probably mentioned this before, but I have tended to live either in an absolute mind-set. The rigidity of this is very paralyzing and leaves very little room for tweeking. As I have recently started to learn, thoughts, emotions, life, is an organic system that needs watering, and the space to grow. If we are bound by the 'rules' of religion, family expectations or societal doctrines, then we ultimately restrict ourselves. Not that any of these things are negative either. I know that most of our value and belief structures and developed during early childhood. So it's a matter of sortin out what is beneficial and what is no longer needed to face what comes next.

Again, random thoughts that have peaked my attention, hopefully there is some sense in there.

Till I find my poncho....

Let the past teach, not taunt.

The road is long and the journey is unpredictable. As I continue to discover more about the world I live in and more about myself, I see that there is much to learn, and at the same time, much to let go of. It amazes me that a big part of my life is 'unlearning' beliefs and values that were instilled in me from an early age. The way we are conditioned over the years is subtle but so powerful to our perceptions of ourselves and our world. I am even angered that single experiences can hold such strong chains around our necks, to the point of paralysis. So in this way, knowing, seeing and understanding one's narrative is so important to the steps that will follow in the future.

I guess at times, I have feared looking back. I think this was because to look back meant to re-live or re-experience the past, hence going through the pain that had been tucked away so neatly. I have started to see though, that the past cannot harm me anymore, but it can teach me (if I allow myself to be taught).

Till I find my poncho...

Touching base.

It has been a little while since I've made an appearance here on my blog, so I felt it was time to share something.

The last few weeks have been quite busy with lots happening in my world. The last nine days has been the Big West Festival, which has been a lot of fun to be involved in with our (the other Anthony and mine) project called JIVE TALK. We had a wonderful guest speaker name Nick Ray who shared with us information and practical guides to "shopping with a conscience". He covered issues from food miles (which is how far your food travels from where it's produced to your plate), to packaging and waste. We had a great room of people who engaged with the information and with Nick. Anthony and I and all who were involved felt it was a great success.

I've also had a chance to spend quite a bit of time at the Dancing Dog cafe. The friendships that have started to blossom there are the glue of the place. There are so many people who are frequenters of the Dog, and who now almost have a permanence about them. All sorts of interesting characters, who mainly live in the local area, come in either on a daily or weekly basis. Seems to me that there is a great flow of endless conversation, banter and laughter. But on the flip side, there has also been the space for people to vent. I have been both the giver and reciever of anger, frustration and confusion. All of this makes for such a unique atmosphere and very much gives the Dog a sense of home.

Peal Jam.

Just over a week ago, I went and saw Pearl Jam, Ben Harper and Liam Finn perform at the Etihad stadium. The night was very impressive. From the size of the arena, to the amount of people and to the quality of music.

Starting with Liam Finn: He came out and blew us away. I have been to many shows where the opener is less than average and most of the audience at some point is BOOING them off stage. Not with Mr Finn. His work was extremely interesting and had the crowd captive. He played the guitar, drums and sang. He would loop a section of his guitar work, then let it play and jump on the drums and play along. Then he would repeat this process on the drums and get back on the guiar and vocals. Was fabulous.

Next was Ben Harper: Not much to say for Ben. Impressive live voice. Had always wanted to see him in concert. Can't say much for his stage presence as he didn't really interract with the crowd much at all, which is always a shame. Musically, him and his band were great, can't fault the music, just felt a bit let down by his manners.
However, at one poin in Ben's set, Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam's singer) came out and they sang Under Pressure, the David Bowie/Freddie Mercury song. The whole vibe of the stadium changed when Eddie came out. This was a real treat.

And finally, Pearl Jam: This is the third time I have seen these guys and it has been interesting to see them develop. I saw them back in 1995, which was their first Australian tour. But this show was special for me too. Eddie came out and spoke with the crowd before they started. He told us there was free water being passed around and that we should look after each other. There was 50,000 people present and the risk of injury (especially in the mosh pit) is high. His attitude from the start was great. The energy in the room was of fun and excitement and I know the folk around me were certainly having a blast. They played many of there earlier songs, which I loved. I have not really gotten into their later albums, but nonetheless enjoyed the whole 2 1/2 hour show.

The crowd in general were well behaved and everyone was boogying to the grooves of Pearl Jam. A great show to have been privelaged enough to be at.

Well, that's it for now. There is more happening and more I'd like to share about, but I'll save some for a day or two later.

Till I find my poncho....