temporary

Everything we seem to go through as humsns feels permanent. I have noticed this especially when it comes to pain. Is it the human condition that when we experience pain, we feel that it is going to last forever and we have no way out? I remember watching a video years ago about the band Black Sabbath. The drummer was talking about how he had tried to kill himself four times. He was able to get through whatever it was that was leading him to attempt suicide and see things differently. He made this statement, "suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem". Personally I have never felt the urge or had the thoughts of killing myself, thankfully, but I have during many times felt that the way I was feeling would never stop. I know intellectually if I look back in my life, there are ample examples of times where I've felt so helpless, distressed and confused that there seemed to be no way out. I find it interesting that as humans, our memory span can be quite short. Kind of like how people always say, 'haven't they learnt that war never achieves anything?' or 'history always repeats, we've obviously learnt nothing from the past'.

I watched this short documentary on the brain and the neurons and electrons and how we process and store information and memories. It's incredible. We have more sparks firing in our brain than there are stars in the universe. All of these brain sparks are interconnected and perform like an intricate orchestra. The narrator was saying that on their own, the neurons aren't that special, but as they fire together and interract with each other, it invokes a dance of creativity, memory and thought. It's quite a spin out.

So what does this all mean? Honestly, I have no idea. But it's interesting and I guess has something to do with our practical lives. If everything starts from a thought, and our thoughts are processed and accumulated and reprocessed and moulded into our beliefs, our values and our actions, then I wonder if we need to pay closer attention to our narratives as humans?


Or, maybe it's all just mumbo jumbo!!!

I am curious to see how I behave today was influenced by what I heard, saw, tasted, smelled and touched yesterday. Is it possible to objectively look at one's past and make informed decisions about one's future?

Maybe I am digging in the wrong places, but I'd like to think that at least I'm digging. When you are an anxious man, as I am, one can either try to put up with it and make the most of a not so pleasant circumstance, or one can explore alternatives. Should we settle for what we have, for who we are and for what the world tells us we should have, who we should be and where we are going? Are we completely defined by forces that are out of our control?

I think ultimately, I'd rather be influenced and moulded by the One whose image I was created in. This is a massive statement I know, but I believe that we are created in the image of God and even knowing what that image is, isn't always so clear. But I guess we get the best picture through Jesus. So, keeping close to Jesus, not religion is important in that respect.

I do believe that we are all created as total individuals. We have our own potential and unique ways of being human. But I also believe that we are interconnected and play a huge role in helping, moulding and defining each other.

To stay isolated is to die. To stay connected is to live. I think this happens on a couple of levels. We can't isolate ourselves from others. I know for me, when I have other people around, they help me to grow in many ways. Just the pure joy of being around people is enough of an argument. Granted, we all need our quiet, private times too.

We also need to stay connected with ourselves, with our thoughts, feelings and spirits. I know for a long time, I have been afraid of myself. To see what lies underneith all of the conditioning, the fears and the lies. I think to see one's self as God sees us is to be free. Free from fear, free from the world and and free to be human.

I'm not exactly sure why I wrote all of this, but it has helped me to vent, and I'm sure there's more to come.

Stay human

"Michael Franti"