Black, white or grey?

I am wrestling with the idea of living in the 'grey'. It has come to my attention that I tend to view the world in a black and white way. Absolutes are interesting things. For me, it seems like when I use absolutes I am living in judgement of something. 'This thing is good', or 'That thing is bad'. I'm speaking in terms of experiences mainly. This also applies to inner feelings or thoughts. But when I say judgement, I'm not talking about the classical Christian judgement but rather adding meaning to something that maybe doesn't have to be qualified. When I add an absolute judgement to something, I give it power over me. But if I look at a situation and say, "well, it just is what it is, it's neither good nor bad", then I can critique the scenario without attaching unnecessary emotion.

I'm not saying that things aren't bad sometimes or great sometimes. I think it's important to view each experience for what it is and not magnify it too much. I was talking to a friend yesterday about a book called "Tuesday's With Morrie". A fantastic book based on a true story about an old sociology professor who is dying of a debilitating disease. Someome asks him, 'How do you stay so positive when you are inevitably going to die, and die in such a painful, nasty way? Don't you cry and mourn?' Morrie replies by saying, 'I cry. I wake up every morning, lie in my bed (because he cannot move anymore) and mourn. I feel the emotions of what I'm going through and say to myself, Ok, this is what it feels like to mourn/grieve, I feel it and let it go.' He talks about feeling the emotion fully, not denying it or suppressing it, but experiencing it fully. He says that this way he doesn't have to fear the feelings, but rather accept them and move forward. I like this idea. And since I've read the book four times, I recomment anyone who may be reading this post to check it out.

So living in the grey! This is my challenge for today. As I encounter life's little speed bumps, and sometimes huge pot holes, I will attempt to be more aware of my responses and try to live somewhere in the middle. Trying not to shove aside my feelings, but to feel them fully and then let them pass. Maybe this has something to do with being fully human. To experience both the beauty and the pain in it's entirety. Balance.

Till I find my poncho...