Complications of the soul.

It's been virtually two weeks since I last posted on here and in that time it seems that so much has changed. It's funny though, even writing that statement, I know that not very much in the grand scheme of things has changed, but certainly my appraisal or critique of things have altered. I am always amazed that it can take one little seemingly insignificant piece of information to change everything in your own thinking. The piece of information, experience or scenario may well be extremely important and vital to the formation of the way one sees themself or the world.

I have been travelling down the road of significant and at times painful discovery over the last couple of months. It very much rings true about the road less travelled. I know in many ways the places I have needed to go (please excuse my vagueness) have in the past been places I have wanted to not return to at all. It seems obvious now that as I enter into some of the darkest regions of my past and knock on a door which I had at the time locked, that those doors were actually still wide open and creating a draft in my present existence. And as difficult as it has been, and to be clear, is still now, I can understand why it requires so much energy to actually face the things that we are most afraid of or the things that continue to shape our lives in negative ways.

Saying all this, I am also aware that time is definately a huge player in this theatre of life. To stop, to slow down, to digest, to contemplate, to regurgitate, to chew fully and then swallow. I know for me, all too often in the past I have watered down and skimmed over life without sometimes seeing the gravity of certain moments of time. I would like to be in a place where life isn't something that I just try to fit in to, but more along the lines of a dance that I am involved in.

I am not exactly sure where this post was meant to go, but I felt it important to vent a little of what has been rolling around in my head of late. The post title "complications of the soul" is a line out of a song I've been writing. It might all make sense when the song is complete. And maybe then I will post the lyrics to share with whom ever is reading this randomness.

Till I find my poncho....